One of my local girlfriends is a professional concert pianist. Well, in my mind, she is.
The fact is, my friend D has incredible talent. I played for more years than I care to remember, and I never even came close to her level of ability. I listen to classical pianists on albums, podcasts and the radio – and I think D has what it takes. I believe her talent rivals any of those (highly talented) famous pianists. Not only does she have the talent, she has the love. If there’s a piano in the room, D is walking towards it, sitting at the bench or touching the keys. When D plays the piano, her face radiates incredible focus – and love. The piano is part of her essence.
But, what with having a family and wanting to make a decent living and live a reasonable life (what’s with all the reasonableness?), D has decided to stick with her current career as an accountant/financial analyst for a big corporation. She chose accounting over the piano!!!
Now, one of my challenges in following a calling is that, sometimes, I over-romanticize the process. Blame my Idealist temperament. According to my over-romanticized notions of following a calling, once you’ve found your calling, that’s it, everyone get out of the way because that’s what you’ve got to DO. Do what you love and the money will follow, people!
The problems with my over-romanticizing approach are that:
- This approach creates unrealistic expectations and high barriers to entry. If the only way for D to pursue her passion was to jump on the concert pianist path, that would exclude other things in her life that she loves – like spending time with her family or playing volleyball
- This approach is ridiculously narrow. There are an infinite number of ways to do what you love, even if you have the talent of a concert pianist. One of those is to go on tour and enter a bunch of competitions. Another is to teach. D’s way is to play the piano as an accompanist for the Richmond Ballet.
- This approach elevates public recognition over simply doing what you love and connecting with others who share the same passion.
I like D’s approach. She saw an opportunity to do what she loved and followed it. She plays every week and connects with people she wouldn’t ordinarily connect with through her job. She loves what she does, and she excels at it. And her choice of how to pursue her calling aligns with her values and enables her to live the life she wants.
Bottom line:
- Do what you love – in the manner makes sense for YOU
- Don’t wonder IF you can pursue your calling – focus on HOW you can pursue your calling
- No matter HOW you choose to pursue your calling, even if it’s just for yourself, strive for excellence
- Ignore the well-meaning friends who try to tell you to do something different than what works 🙂
How about you? Are you doing what you love? Romanticized, full-blown lunatic version – or modified to fit your values? Or something completely different? Or are you waiting for conditions to become perfect before pursuing your passion? Are you happy with your choice?
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40 Days to Change 
Giulietta
April 27, 2010
Hi Ami,
Great post! Followed you over here from Joy T’s page. People often feel that unless they are operating at a level nearing perfection, they have no right to indulge in what they love to do.
That’s what keeps people from trying new things or continuing on with things they love. I’ve seen friends take one painting class and give up because their first painting didn’t look like Monet painted it.
It’s o.k. to be a beginner. The greatest concert pianist was once a beginner too!
Thanks and have a great day.
Giulietta the Muse
Ami
April 27, 2010
Hi Giulietta! (love your name BTW) You are so right about being open to being a beginner. Once you’ve accepted that you’re a beginner, it seems like your mind opens up to all kinds of possibilities and potential that wouldn’t present themselves if you think “I should be pretty good by now” – The trick, in my mind, is to try to keep that open, joyful, wondering beginner’s mind forever, even after you ‘master’ something. Thanks for commenting!
Joy Tanksley
April 27, 2010
Great, great, great, Ami! I totally agree. There is a time for leaping/risk-taking, a time for practicality, and a time for a little bit of both. But there is never a time to shut off our desires – there is always a way to live our dreams.
Ami
April 27, 2010
@Joy: Yes! Once we acknowledge our dream, the next thought isn’t “If X happens” or “When X happens” but “Ok, what am I doing to MAKE X happen?” I’ve gotta work on that more.
Ami Mattison
April 27, 2010
Great post, Ami! I’m right there with you! I especially like this advice: “focus on HOW you can pursue your calling.” And I’d say too to not let the limitations of others and society and even your fears pin you in. Thanks for sharing!
Ami
April 27, 2010
@Ami: wow, great addition – you know as much as (or more than) anyone else HOW to pursue your calling in a way that works.
Girl Startup
April 28, 2010
Some really good points here. I am doing what I love, but I am also doings that I don’t love, but I don’t hate at the same time. I just do more of what I love, and less of what is there to just pay the bills.
It make sense to me, and it seems to be working for me so far 🙂
Ami
April 28, 2010
@Girl Startup: Greetings! I guess it comes down to balance. If it’s working for you – you must be striking the right balance. What is the thing that you love – and how are you making it work?
Girl Startup
April 28, 2010
Heh heh! I just wrote a reply to that in another post of yours https://40daystochange.wordpress.com/2010/04/20/dont-let-money-be-a-barrier-to-finding-a-calling/
I’m creating a bag range, but I am hoping to do a lot more than that in the not too distant future 🙂
Ami
April 28, 2010
Wonderful – I took a look at your blog, I think your idea has great potential. (as to the dig scrapbooking site – did you ever see the ravelry.com site? It’s not dig scrapbooking, but it seems like it accomplishes a lot of similar goals as your idea – but for knitting, might be worth checking out for your next grand adventure)
Girl Startup
April 28, 2010
Thanks Ami I certainly will.
I kind of know what I want to do though 🙂
Walter
May 3, 2010
You have provided here an important subtleties when it comes to following our passions. Going to the path of our passions is not as easy as it seems, we have to take into consideration the bigger picture and not just our limited perception. Passions, we have many and we need to follow what will bring the best balance. 🙂
Ami
May 3, 2010
@Walter: thank-you for sharing your insight. I find that the quest to follow our passions is not as easy or straightforward as I thought when I started my effort. Just define your calling and do it, right? Not so much, at least not for me. But the good news is that I’ve learned many good and unexpected things as a result of making the attempt.
Jean at The Delightful Repast
May 5, 2010
Hello Ami, I came to your site through your excellent comment at copyblogger: ” I don’t think the solution is to ‘dumb it down.’ Often my clients or readers are very intelligent and sophisticated people – they do not need to be patronized and would resent it if I tried. As described in ‘Made to Stick’ there’s a difference between being simplistic and being elegantly simple.”
As someone who has written for magazines for years and has now started a food blog, I am trying to write in a more casual style for the blog than I do for magazines. But I could never “dumb it down.” You made that point so well! I look forward to clicking on your link above about your Idealist temperament (something you and I share).
Ami
May 5, 2010
@Jean: thanks for stopping by! I’m with you on using a casual voice, esp. on a blog! I think it works really well on a food blog. I’d be a little embarrassed to share some of the writing I’ve done for legal and bank regulatory purposes on my blog 🙂