“Mom, this is the best dinner, ever.” Surprising words from one of my picky eaters, especially when applied to my cooking. Cooking is not a particular passion, but I have been doing a LOT of it recently for all the usual reasons (control over nutrition, variety, family values, budget, etc.). Although I’m not an expert cook, I HAVE moved up the learning curve using the same approach to cooking as I have to other areas of competence.
I’ve been thinking and thinking about what I’m good at and how people become good at stuff. I have an untested theory about finding a calling: specifically, the quest for a calling inevitably leads one down the path to mastery . This theory may or may not be true, but at least it provides some direction for vocation seekers, once we have done the work of identifying our passions. In other words, once you know what your passion is, the next step is acquiring mastery of that activity.
At this point, I would not call myself a Master of anything. However, I do have a knack for quickly becoming competent at stuff I’m interested in (excluding anything requiring athleticism :)). I’m mulling over putting together a free e-book on becoming competent at anything (oooh, such a sexy title), and here are some of my initial thoughts on becoming good at anything:
- Try, Do, Experiment. I’ve suggested this before. Every time you do something, you increase your skills, acquire experience about what works and what doesn’t, try different approaches and techniques and incorporate that intellectual capital into your memory banks. Consider Olympic athletes, who master their sport after hours, days and months of practice and thousands of repetitions. Even the ones at the pinnacle of their games continue to practice long hours and multitudes of repetitions. So, Doing is the #1 technique for becoming good at stuff. I think around 100 repetitions gets you to the point that you start to lose the nervousness and fear of performing, 1000 repetitions gets you to the point where you start to feel confident enough to experiment. So, if you’ve just started at something, it WILL feel uncomfortable and maybe even scary before you hit 100 repetitions. Don’t give up! At least try to get to 100 reps before assessing your progress. If you’ve been doing it for a while, try a different approach or a different setting or different materials. Try something unorthodox – or create a completely new game.
- Look for offbeat opportunities to practice your skills. You may want to be a writer, a photographer, an artist, a gymnast, a chef or an animal trainer. If this is your job, you have a specific setting (an office, a studio, a gym, a kitchen) where you might expect to perform and practice the necessary skills. If you look for them, you also have opportunities to practice your skills elsewhere – as a volunteer at a non-profit or at your child’s school, as a blogger, on voice mail greetings or email messages, with family or friend’s pets. Look for those opportunities and make the most of them – to practice, to experiment, to go crazy.
- Refine technique. My old taekwondo master used to say, “practice makes perfect, but only if it’s perfect practice.” In other words, you can practice something 100 times but if you do it wrong over and over again, you don’t get the same benefit as you do if you do it right. Consult an expert, hire a coach, do some research, take a video of yourself so you can get closer to the desired technique as you practice.
- Connect with your tribe. People who do that thing you love are an amazing resource to help you learn, improve your technique, share encouragement, and impose accountability. Take a class taught by an expert. Glean ideas from someone who makes money doing this or is well known in the field. Network with other students so you can benchmark your own progress and learn what is possible. Find a mentor who can help you build a road map for your quest. Join an association or group of like-minded people. Find – and participate in – a virtual forum. Just being a member of the community will help turn levers inside your brain and create an internal expectation that I’m a [insert desired description here]. And that mindset will release your magic.
- Set goals. Practicing without having a goal can be tiresome or boring or it can seem pointless. Have a goal. Is there a competition you can participate in? Is there a financial goal you can set tied to your calling? Can you set a goal of hitting a certain number of repetitions or a certain level of skill by a certain date? Talk to your tribe about what reasonable goals might be.
- Track your progress. Start a journal or a blog to record your experiences. Create a chart to show your progress over time. Take before and after pictures or video. There’s nothing so motivating as physical evidence of your own growth and progress to keep you motivated.
- Take a leap of faith. Sometimes we hesitate to try because it’s scary or we don’t want to fail at something we might love or we don’t want to be embarrassed. We hesitate to try something new because it feels like we’re regressing. Life is short. Just assume you WILL fail, you WILL look ridiculous, you WILL be laughed at. And do it anyway.
Did I miss anything? How do YOU become good at stuff? Any interest in a more detailed e-book? Please share in the comments.
thanks, Ami
Joy
February 27, 2010
Good stuff, Ami! I’m really enjoying your blog!
One of the best ways I know to become good at something is to focus on what’s working (as opposed to where i keep screwing up!). Tiger Woods (not the most popular guy these days but still…) once said in an interview that when he watches the videos of his games he is analyzing what he did well, NOT the places where he messed up. He basically said he wants to study the behaviors he plans to repeat. I’ve always loved this, and it has helped me a lot in everything from managing student behaviors in my classroom to eating only to the point of satisfaction.
amikim
February 27, 2010
@Joy: that’s an excellent point – and a proven strategy. I remember reading an article about an experiment with a speed reading course. The experiment showed that, while all students benefitted from taking a speed reading course, the fastest readers improved the most. The takeaway – you benefit more from trying to sharpen your strengths than you do from trying to fix your weaknesses.
If nothing else, it’s a lot more fun/motivating to work on your strengths, rather than building on your weaknesses.
Jessica
February 28, 2010
I think your point about refining technique is very important. Sometimes even the things we take for granted (like singing) require technique. Most of us have the basic technique to sing but (as I am discovering) just about all of us have bad habits which can only be fixed by actual training. And breaking bad habits is HARD.
So, the earlier you can get input from an expert, the more likely you are to avoid some of the basic pitfalls and bad habits. Far better not to learning them in the first place than having to unlearn them later on.
That does indeed sound like an intriguing title for an e-book. 🙂
amikim
February 28, 2010
@Jessica: refining technique is an interesting one b/c sometimes people (me!) use it as an excuse/barrier to entry. In other words, I can’t start because I don’t have time/money/don’t know who the right person is to consult an expert. But even one or two consultations can make a really big difference – and, in the end, by talking to an expert, you end up saving yourself a LOT of time.
Love hearing the hints about your singing lessons 🙂
Maren Kate
March 1, 2010
Love it! It is so true that you must try, take action then change course if needed… this is a great post and I love the part about finding your tribe. That is killer advice, just read the book Tribes by Seth Godin and man it rocked my socks off, I got so much inspiration from every page!
amikim
March 2, 2010
@Maren Kate: I know – the doing/taking action and the consulting with your tribe are probably 2 of the hardest tips for me to follow – yet they are so effective. I see you doing both of those via your amazing blog, which is why you are going to rule the world.
Jonas
March 3, 2010
For some reason I ended up here 🙂 Im glad I found your blog. Very intresting post I must say and I can agree with everything you’ve said.
One thing I’ve found very important is to be open-minded about things. If you’re trying to learn something new, to draw, to swim, to cook or whatever, you must be able to listen to other people. If you CANT take advice from other people, you probably wont go as far as people who do. To be able to show one’s weaknesses is a strength and from there you can improve.
amikim
March 3, 2010
@Jonas: thanks for visiting and commenting! You’ve made a great point.
I think some people call what you describe as having a “beginner’s mind.” And having a beginner’s mind is incredibly powerful. What a great tool – being able to say “I’m just starting out” – to feel free to ask questions, to do research, to experiment with unorthodox approaches and to learn. If we could have a beginner’s mind throughout our learning process, we’d probably make more progress than if we assume we know everything.
Daddy Paul
March 11, 2010
I love this article. Practice is the mother of skill. I write about and talk about it all the time.
amikim
March 12, 2010
@Daddy Paul: thanks for the comment. Practice is one I have to work on – I know in my heart that it works but sometimes I need a little extra motivation 🙂