Day 17 – Honesty is so hard – and so necessary

Posted on November 20, 2009


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So today’s focus is on honesty.  Let’s all be honest together!

Well, maybe not.  Little white lies help things go so much easier:

  • Sorry kids, McDonald’s closed early.  We’re gonna have to eat leftovers
  • Oh Mom, of course I wore the pants you gave me that look like they were hijacked from a couch.  They’re just . . . perfect (for a couch)
  • That’s a great idea, Boss, best ever (so long as it means I don’t have to do any extra work)
  • I have a headache

Can’t we all just agree to keep the lies minor, unharmful, forgettable?

The problem is, the lies are easier.  And easier.  And even easier over time.  And eventually, you replace what could be deliberate, intentional (and prickly, uncomfortable) relationships with easy, pleasant nothingness.  Or you’ve eased your way into doing a job, an activity, a lifestyle that was easy to get into and so hard to get out of.

For me, sometimes the little white lies just support my laziness.  I promise to play a game, read a book, (wash the dishes) . . . and just don’t get around to it.

But facing the little pain of being honest helps you follow your calling:

  1. When you choose to be honest, to say ‘no’ when it hurts, to say ‘yes’ and mean it, you strengthen that authentic self.  If you’re in touch with that authentic self, you’re that much closer to knowing who you are and what your calling is.
  2. When you are willing to speak the truth, even when it hurts, others will trust you – and you will trust yourself.  You will feel more confident that Yes means Yes and No means No.  And you won’t waste time wondering if you should have done or said something that runs against your spirit. You will free yourself from the yoke of social expectations and move, unburdened, toward your objective.
  3. You will save time and energy.  Lying consumes both!  Use that time and energy to pursue that passion.

I am going to try complete honesty (not sure whether to put a time limit on this endeavor).  Anyone with me?

Some ideas to ease the transition:

  • Don’t talk at all  (I know, this one might be hard for some of us.  But it’s the easiest way to ensure complete honesty!)
  • Stop and think before answering.  Sometimes, the social lie just pops out – POP! – because it’s so very easy.  But my family and friends deserve more than the easy answer, so I will try to slow down and think about my responses.
  • How about – making that little white lie true?  You didn’t really mean to call that acquaintance for lunch, even though you said you would.  Well, if you call to set up lunch – you’ve turned that little social lie into truth.  See what happens!
  • Keep trying.  Just like dieting, sometimes we fall off the bandwagon.  Don’t beat yourself up.  Tomorrow is another day.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again 🙂

Let me know how it goes!

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NaNoWriMo status: 18K, slogging.  Must hit 30K this weekend or all may be lost.

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